9/2 Body

Epictetus tells us that our bodies are not within our control, that they are not part of the selves we control. To ensure peace of mind, we must not overly covet it. For peace of mind, we must focus on and value what we truly control: our mind, our "self".

As an engineer, my profession has been primarily based on the performance of my mind. While a young student, I loved to learn, but I was often weak at execution, weak at performance. After the Marines, I became better at execution. This skill got me into and through engineering school. Mental execution and performance has served me well as an engineer. These have been functions of my mind. However, the Marines, with its emphasis on performance of body, gave me experience with performance of body. In many ways, the Corps taught me the euphemism: where the mind goes, the body follows. For most of my subsequent life, I made my living though performance of mind, to the detriment of my body. Late in my life, I was given an ultimatum: pay attention to performance of body or permanently undermine my health. I refocused on the simplicity and austerity that I learned in the Corps and focused once again on performance of my body. As I entered my fifth decade, I discovered how much my new focus improved my quality of life. The return on investment seems to have no ceiling.

I understand that, ultimately, body is not within my control.

Three weeks ago, I took a week off from running and lifting to travel to the Colorado high country. The choice was easy. We live at 27 feet. Denise and I spent all of our time above 5,000 feet, and a large part of it above 6500 to 11,000 feet. We hiked, but running would have been stupid. The next week we returned home and I started usual running and lifting. Sunday, however, I caught my foot under a barbell and gave myself a nasty bruise that knocked me out of running for a week.

This last week, I did four of my six weight work out, but have not run in a week because of my bruise.

I'm astonished at how much my sense of well being imploded when I miss two of three weeks of running. When I stop and think about who I am, I realize how much running defines my life....and the hole it leaves when it's not there. Epictetus tells me that I should not overly value my performance of body. But it is so fundamental to health of mind and body. Basic health is not sufficient. I could never accept the dishonor of  succumbing to the myriad lifestyle diseases that arise from our seduction by the self-indulgent society we have built around us. Basic health is not enough; I have to at least try to live my years with a bit of elan, both physical and mental.

Epictetus warns me not to overly value things beyond my control. How do I balance this truth with the truth in Juvenal's "orandum est ut sit mens sana in corpore sano"?

8 miles today.